Well, well, well... if you're the kind of person that loves drama, our favorite POA Facebook group has been plumb full of it lately. I'm a person who usually likes to stay out of the drama, but found myself sucked into it this time around.
It all started with what we are lovingly calling GrayGate2023. In GrayGate 2023, a couple of breeders made it known that they don't feel gray ponies should be allowed to breed in POA anymore AND they feel that gray ponies should be placed behind the loud colored ponies. *sigh*. I'm not getting into rehashing all of that debate out on this blog. We have our reasons why we LOVE our gray ponies. We don't purposefully breed for gray, but we aren't going to "cull" our Fi either (as one poster suggested), simply because she isn't everyone's favorite color. The biggest issue wasn't that we had to stand up for The Silver Kid and his offspring, yet... again... but the biggest issue was that they felt the need to hash this whole debate out on the post of a baby foal being shared by a new to POA member. *bigger sigh* That thread devolved into over 100 comments in a battle over gray or nay (or neigh to be punny). It was ridiculous.
In an effort to stop the madness, I made a post saying that we all just needed to be kind and welcoming. That we need, in our tiny breed, to be WELCOMING to new members. We need to be looking at ways to be more inclusive, not more restrictive. If people don't like gray, then don't breed for it and/or buy for it. If there isn't a market for it, no one will keep breeding it. However, as long as Silver is on the top of the Congress champion list, people are going to want Silver in their pony's pedigree. We all know how I feel about Silver babies and grand babies. I don't care if they are purple and pink striped with orange polka dots. Their dispositions and movement are what sells me on Silver babies. As a breed - that is what we need to focus on. Not color.
Just when you would think GrayGate2023 had faded away or settled into recent history, someone new would make a post chastising everyone for being mean and not being welcoming. I think at least 2 other posts with dozens of comments were made after mine about how awful our breed is and how people are leaving or not joining POA because we can't all get along. People claimed that they had been to shows and people were mean or dismissive to them. People claimed that the internet/social media drama made them want to leave or not get a POA. I've heard this kind of thing before and let me share some cold hard truth with you all.
This behavior is literally everywhere. There are always going to be people who are rude or dismissive in every sport, competition and social media group. There are going to be people who think their opinion is the only one that matters and the most important one. There are going to be people who are close minded and refuse to listen to arguments and science/reason. There are going to be people who hide behind their screens and hurl insults and passive aggressive comments. There are going to be people you don't like, you don't agree with and you don't see eye to eye with. I love that one poster even commented to this effect saying "these people are everywhere - even in a camera group I follow". I could not agree more with her. I see this type of behavior on other horse groups, in other horse breeds, but also on my chicken pages and even the gardening and house plant pages I follow. There is nothing uniquely mean or special about the folks in POA.
Sorry folks, the cold hard truth is this - if you don't join or follow a breed because of a few people's behavior, then competitive horse showing probably isn't for you. We have had people not be kind to us at shows. Many of you probably remember the big name trainer from our area who loudly called Elsie and I "that gray thing" at a horse show. She literally got into a yelling argument with Sophie (who flew to my defense) that could be heard from one end of the warm up pen to the other. We have had people make fun of our trailer, saddles, clothes, ponies, you name it. We have had judges that flat out refused to use us in classes because they felt my kids or I were "too big" for ponies. We have had people bad mouth our training, our farm, our ponies, etc... I have argued for rule changes in open shows and breed shows and been called every name in the book. I have had adults make my kids cry in 4H. I've had people go to the show committee to complain about us instead of just asking us why we were entered in a class. I've had people cut me off on the way in to do my pattern or their horse kick me while in a rail class (with no apology from the rider). These things have happened across every avenue of showing from 4H to open to various breed shows. I would say I have seen it all, but then someone would probably take that as a challenge and surprise me with something else equally or even more awful. So I won't say that.
I have never let any of that stop me from doing what I love. People are going to be humans. Not everyone is going to like you or treat you kindly. That's life. That's how it is. That's how it is always going to be. You want more cold hard truth? The more involved you get, the more committees you are on or God forbid a board of directors position - the more you will attract the negatives. It's going to sound nasty when I say this, but you simply have to grow a backbone or stay home. Surround yourself with the good people, the good times and the good memories and let the rest of it go. You will not change everyone, don't let them win by staying home yourself. Get out there and do what you love. "Haters gonna hate" as they say. Or as Tim always reminds me, "You can only control the controllables" and others' actions are definitely out of my control.
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