It's Just a Horse

“Why would you cry about selling your pony, it’s just a horse.”

“You got a ton of money, I wouldn’t be crying, it’s just a horse.”

“You have other horses, why are you crying over that one.”

For everyone who has ever felt that loss, we get you. We know that it isn't "just a horse". We understand what it means when those trailer lights blink out the driveway and you look at that empty stall or spot in the pasture. We get that ache that starts in your heart and makes its way to your throat. We get the tears that fall and the breath that catches. We get you.

Recently we have let a few of our ponies find their way to new homes. We are super excited for their new owners. We are thrilled that they will be shown and loved. We are proud that our ponies were chosen by others to be their partners. But, we feel that loss too.

When you train an animal, you literally pour your blood, sweat and tears into that training. Literally. You get to know what every tense muscle, every intake of breath, every flick of an ear or tail means. You know when that animal is angry, depressed, excited, happy or just plain old relaxed. You begin to see your mood mirrored in their moods. You begin to see you healing each other. On days when they are feeling tense or frustrated, you work to help them find peace and relaxation. But the glory of it is, there are days when you are tense or frustrated and they do everything in your power to improve your mood. They say you can't talk to animals, but you definitely communicate. That communication is deeper and felt on a level most verbal conversations never reach.

And then there are the animals you don't really train. The animals you don't have very long, maybe because they were a foal you bred and brought into the world, or an animal you bought for the purpose of showing that didn't work out. In that case, the loss of the animal is more the loss of the hopes and dreams. Long before a foal is brought into the world, breeders have hopes and dreams for those babies. Sometimes you aren't the person that is meant to take and animal to the next level so your goals and dreams get put on hold. Sometimes it just doesn't work out for you to be the one who brings those hopes and dreams to fruition. And that loss, that change in plans and goals can be downright painful.

So let people have their moment. Let them grieve their goals and dreams. Let them grieve the loss of a partner and friend. Let them feel the loss of an animal without minimizing that loss by saying "it's just a horse". It isn't "just a" anything. If you don't get it, just be quiet.