Something I hate seeing on social media are posts about "kids these days" or complaining about young people. There are so many complaints but something I see a lot of are complaints about their work ethic. I also see complaints saying they are lazy, too dependent on technology and disrespectful. While I know there are some people in this age group who fall into these areas, what I find as ironic is that the generation complaining the most are literally the generation who created them.
For the one millionth time - it isn't "kids these days", it is "parents these days". Kids do not grow up in a vacuum. Parents are creating these kids every single minute of every single day. I see it and so does every other adult that deals with your kid. As the uncool parent, I get to deal with "well so and so's mom and dad let them (or don't make them)." I'm okay with that. Because I know what happens if I don't.
Every time you don't back up that coach or teacher, you're teaching your child to be disrespectful and that they don't have to listen to authority. Every time you demand they get something (a grade, playing time, an award) for not doing the work, you are teaching them that they can do half the work for the same reward as every other kid that has put in the time and effort. Every time you plunked them in front of a TV or an iPad instead of playing a game with them or helping them with their homework, you taught them that technology is more important than... well - everything else. Every time you let your child skip school to go shopping, or watch TV or whatever ridiculous reason your kid comes up with; you're teaching them that they don't have to show up. Show up for work. Show up for practice. Show up for life. Every time you let them speak to you in a disrespectful tone, you're telling them that tone doesn't matter and they don't have to respect people in authority.
I grew up in what many would call a strict household. There were rules and they had better be followed. Even as a sassy teenager, my parents made it clear that I had better be respectful and mind the household rules. I knew when my dad said "do you want me to pull this car over" or "do we have to leave", that I didn't want either of those things to happen. No I wasn't abused. I got spanked twice in my whole life. But I knew I didn't want to push those boundaries either. And guess what? I love my parents more than anything and look back on my childhood and years growing up with great happiness and pride. I knew then and I know now, that they set those rules because they loved me and wanted me safe. Yes, they wanted me happy, but they wanted me to grow up as a useful member of society as well.
We were taught to work hard through their example. We were taught that you don't get something for nothing. We were taught that if something is worth doing, it is worth doing your best. We didn't learn that in school. Our parents taught us those lessons.
It isn't teachers' responsibility to teach your kids to be respectful, kind and hard working individuals. That's the parents' job. We can reinforce those life lessons, if parents will let us. Let there be natural consequences. If they don't do the work, they don't get the prize. (If they don't read the books, they don't get the free pizza from Pizza Hut. My parents never lied once for me to get a free pizza.) If they don't do the work, they may fail the assignment or miss recess. If they don't do the work, don't make excuses. If it is hard, remind them ask for help and work harder.
Life isn't easy. It's damn hard. Part of why so many young adults are struggling is because adults/parents made it too damn easy for them growing up. Our hearts were in the right place. It sucks being a mean and strict parent. But do you know what sucks worse? Raising kids that cannot survive without us making it easy for them or kids that have to learn things the hard way when their parents cannot bail them out anymore. Love them enough to let them fail and help them learn that failure isn't life ending. Love them enough to teach them that everyone makes mistakes, but if you learn from them they don't become failures. Love them enough to be their parent, not their friend.
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