I've been thinking about how to write this blog for a while and I probably still won't do it justice. I have this thought, this idea, this opinion in my head and I just don't know if I can explain myself well enough to get across how I feel about the topic. But I'm going to try. If even one person pauses and thinks about putting themselves in someone else's shoes.... I think it needs to be said.
There are a lot of wonderful things about our current age of technology and communication. However, the negative side of it all is that people are hiding behind screens and we've lost the nonverbals that make up a conversation. We are communicating, but we aren't conversing. We don't get to KNOW people and that's become a real struggle in our world. So many opinions are being formed and sometimes I have found that they aren't accurate.
The written word is tricky. We talk a lot about connotations in sixth grade and how saying something is "nice" doesn't tell the reader much. We need to use words that more clearly show how we feel about the topic. We talk about the power of vocabulary and the power of words. We read two excerpts about a historical event. One where the author describes the attackers as savage, murdering, criminals who viciously attacked unsuspecting settlers and the other refers to the starving fathers who were desperate to feed their children so stole from the settlers. Oh the power of words.
The problem with words is that they can hurt. Short responses are viewed as curt responses. A simple yes can be viewed as "oh they agree with me" or "sheesh - I must have pissed them off". I've been guilty of this myself. If someone sends me back just a thumbs up emoji, I panic thinking I made them angry. Then I see that same person at an event with two phones trying to respond to friends, family, clients and customers and remind myself that they are just REALLY busy and a thumbs up is way easier than typing out "oh you're so right. I agree wholeheartedly." I need to remember to take myself out of the equation and put myself in their shoes. When I do, understanding becomes easier.
One of the biggest errors in understanding I see isn't even just about the words or, God forbid - emojis. It's about forgetting that we are people behind these screens. People with feelings of our own. People who are quick to respond sometimes and forget to censor ourselves. People who feel strongly, yes even passionately, about the things and the people we love. People who get defensive and use words to protect those things and people that we are passionate about. People can very often be viewed as aggressive, snarky, rude or down right bitchy when in actuality - they just love something or someone THAT much that they aren't afraid to put it in print.
After meeting, in person, many of the people I was making judgements about, I learned that they are good people. They are kind and friendly people. They know what they are talking about and do some really great things. I had conversations with them and I listened to them have conversations with others. I was reminded that some people just aren't so good with the written words and emojis. Maybe they aren't worried or understand about connotations. They aren't worried about tip toeing around the issue and are blunt or maybe they just didn't have time to write out a novel to help people understand the emotion behind their words. They may be opinionated even, but they aren't "bad" people. They are passionate people. People who care a LOT about the things and the people that they love.
Once I understood that - that these were passionate people who CARE - it was easier to take my hurt feelings out of the equation and ask myself, "what is their motivation here?" Once I took myself out of the equation, thinking that they were out to get me, I realized that they have some really good ideas! Maybe they aren't the same as mine, but having people who CARE is a good thing. Having people who CARE about our organization, our friends, our future, that's a really good thing. Maybe we don't see eye to eye, but maybe we can learn to work together? Maybe we can take that passion and come up with a compromise? Or maybe - we just agree to disagree and move on but still, reflect for a minute and appreciate that you both are passionate about something you love. There isn't anything wrong with that.
If you're out there reading this crazy, rambling post and thinking to yourself "I have no idea what she's talking about" - I'm sorry. If you're sitting there thinking "Wow - I never thought of it that way", then whew - you get me. If you're thinking "this woman needs to stick to writing about ponies" - I'll try to do better I promise. Whatever you're thinking - hey, at least you stopped by and checked out our website, right? Look around, there are pony pics. Cute pony pics will hopefully make up for your wasted time.
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